drowning
How to remember these hot days of summer, these calm evenings out in the fields, hiding far away from all this worlds hustle and bustle and noise... no clouds to darken our skies, no sorrows to rest heavily upon our minds, no deeper thoughts to deal with than whether to go with White Russian or choose red wine instead... Somehow, we used to just make our way through time, aware yet not too much worried by knowing that things might change, one day, that sooner or later leading a more serious, less enjoyable life would be what we're supposed to do... And if we needed something more intense, we always could leave even this silent sanctuary for some place even calmer, we could make our way to the forest nearby, walking through the knee-deep grass, until all the music and chatter and the illumination disappeared in the distance, until we just were surrounded by the peaceful darkness, the sound of a mild summer breeze high above in the tops of trees seemingly as ancient as the stars quietly lighting our way...
Night is even deeper out there in the forests, and, more shiny and intense than all the stars above are those two darkest of stars, most impressing feature of that gentle face so close to mine, reflecting the pale, dim light of our surroundings, and I can't help but staring at them... mesmerized... captured. "Make me yours now and forever... fill that emptiness so deep inside of me!" - Drowning in her eyes, I never really thought about the ambiquity in her request, same as I didn't really care about that certain "forever", a word best to be avoided in most situations of life then and now. The night was ours for the taking, only us and the stars and the wind in the trees. And time...
They say time doesn't always pass at the same speed, and maybe this is true. But it passes, after all, to soon hear her voice, calm, soft... "Come with me... we're late..." Involuntarily, like driven by an arcane reflex, I shake my head, to then astoundingly watch how incredibly easy even a situation of the closest of encounters possible can be broken to pieces. No more words... An unexpressed question I can read from her eyes, still star-like yet, by now, uncomprehending, way less shiny, yet nonetheless intense. And I don't have to give words to my answer, which she probably also just could grasp by reading my eyes, my face.
I see her leave, a dark silhouette against the distant dawn of a new summer day... How should I have explained that feeling that morning hardly can keep promises the night before has made us? How to give words to my fear that, ever and ever again, we have to change the warm, tender, comforting embrace of darkness for the clarity of new-born light... that by then, once night is over, we will be awake all day, asleep the rest of hours, until we have become dull and grey, unable to shine again even if we are about to taste a summer evening again, one distant day? Sun slowly rises above the horizon, and I close my eyes, feel its warmth. Could we see another way? Could we at least try?
One last breath for the wicked
One last breath for the sin
One last breath for the lost, the nameless
And those that I've forgotten
I am not sure to make a decision. Probably no one ever will be. Only the ever-present sound of the wind in distant tree tops remains as I follow her into that morning... wherever the way may lead.
Night is even deeper out there in the forests, and, more shiny and intense than all the stars above are those two darkest of stars, most impressing feature of that gentle face so close to mine, reflecting the pale, dim light of our surroundings, and I can't help but staring at them... mesmerized... captured. "Make me yours now and forever... fill that emptiness so deep inside of me!" - Drowning in her eyes, I never really thought about the ambiquity in her request, same as I didn't really care about that certain "forever", a word best to be avoided in most situations of life then and now. The night was ours for the taking, only us and the stars and the wind in the trees. And time...
They say time doesn't always pass at the same speed, and maybe this is true. But it passes, after all, to soon hear her voice, calm, soft... "Come with me... we're late..." Involuntarily, like driven by an arcane reflex, I shake my head, to then astoundingly watch how incredibly easy even a situation of the closest of encounters possible can be broken to pieces. No more words... An unexpressed question I can read from her eyes, still star-like yet, by now, uncomprehending, way less shiny, yet nonetheless intense. And I don't have to give words to my answer, which she probably also just could grasp by reading my eyes, my face.
I see her leave, a dark silhouette against the distant dawn of a new summer day... How should I have explained that feeling that morning hardly can keep promises the night before has made us? How to give words to my fear that, ever and ever again, we have to change the warm, tender, comforting embrace of darkness for the clarity of new-born light... that by then, once night is over, we will be awake all day, asleep the rest of hours, until we have become dull and grey, unable to shine again even if we are about to taste a summer evening again, one distant day? Sun slowly rises above the horizon, and I close my eyes, feel its warmth. Could we see another way? Could we at least try?
One last breath for the wicked
One last breath for the sin
One last breath for the lost, the nameless
And those that I've forgotten
I am not sure to make a decision. Probably no one ever will be. Only the ever-present sound of the wind in distant tree tops remains as I follow her into that morning... wherever the way may lead.
kawazu - 16. Apr, 13:10
